Olive is gone.
On Christmas Eve she peacefully passed away … too soon. But my God she changed my life.
Olive was my first dog.
I was 34 when I got her. I didn't grow up with a dog or cat, so I'll be honest, writing this tribute seems indulgent- almost embarrassing. Countless others have gone through this kind of loss quietly, privately. Am I over-reacting?
I wanted a dog my whole life but because of my gypsy lifestyle in NYC, always having to sublet my apt for gigs for over a decade, I waited.
4½ years ago when my husband Scott deployed to Africa for a year with the Navy -He encouraged me to get a dog to keep me company while he was away.
I began the search to adopt ... But I still didn’t know if I was ready.
I thought maybe I was too selfish, too busy, too strapped for money to take care of another creature.
Olive proved me wrong.
I couldn't have gotten through the deployment without her.
I went from being anxious, worried and depressed to channeling my
energy and love to a 6 lbs, toothless, toy poodle who was freed by the amazing 'Bald Is Beautiful Dog Rescue' organization. She had been kept in a small cage with three other dogs for six years at a puppy mill in NC.
Olive taught me to be present, she reminded me that PLAY is IMPORTANT,
she made me appreciate the moment, laugh out loud again, and howl when happy.
She welcomed our sailor home and accepted him by snuggling up and sleeping beside him that very night.
Olive loved me no matter how small I felt, or acted.
Life is so conditional; Do this, and maybe you'll get that.
So to be loved unconditionally was a gift beyond belief.
She was the perfect dog for me.
We performed comedy on stage together, were simpatico travel buddies on trains, subways, and planes.
We swam in the ocean, (**Heaven on earth does exist, it's a dog beach)
We sailed the Chesapeake,
even nabbed some film gigs together...
We snuck into stores and theatres, and when we got caught she made everybody smile- and then she'd get us invited back.
After spending 3 days in the hospital, I held her in my arms and made one of the hardest decision I've ever had to make.
I try to tell myself I did the right thing, but for anyone who has had to make that decision I know you understand the incredible heartbreak and devastation that I'm feeling.
Was there anything else that could have been done?
Now, Olive is everywhere I look.
A phantom limb, I can feel and see and hear; from the corner of the couch to the nook between my pillow and Scott’s, to our entryway where her food dish is.
This morning I finally got the strength to clean up the crumbs next to her food dish. When I started to sponge up the floor I was delighted to find that it was slightly slippery around her dish from some residual drool.
I know... I understand, this must sound crazy for those who don’t have a pet, but I never loved slime so much in my life as today.
I see her as I pass the grass on our walk way....I can't take it. I hear her as I walk up the stairs.
Every sidewalk in our neighborhood she’s marked and sniffed--
I know every dumpster and trash can in a 2 mile radius because of her too.
T.M.I. for some I’m sure, but every bit of her was perfect, and I miss her so damn much and I am allowing myself to unapologetically feel everything.
Everything.
I see my neighbors walking their dogs and I think;
How is it possible I’ll never walk her again,
and why can't everyone’s life just stop for just a moment ...
Because mine will never be the same.
But I know,
life goes on-
And I'm reminded once again, that love is all that matters.
When Olive still had her sight, she would approach every human and would say hello by gently touching them with her nose.
Thank you Olive for reminding me to reach out and connect with everyone.
To touch hearts and noses.
You've taught me to love bigger and better and be grateful for
THIS VERY MOMENT.
So friends, if you are reading this now, I want to take this very moment to say
I love you and I hope we connect noses soon.
“To the world you may be one person, but to one person you are the world.” - Bill Wilson
Oh, Olive. You were our world, and we were yours.
And for that
I am so grateful
Thank you.
"Olive-you" fur-ever and ever
Love,
Mommy & Daddy ❤️🐾
